Slots are killing me
This post is my first. It's 2020 ..that's the year I need to take control. I went to the casino tonight. Couldn't hit a thing. This afternoon I looked at my bank account and knew I had about 1500 extra dollars. Tonight I wrote 3500 in checks that will likely bounce before payday on Wednesday. So you can imagine that I feel like shit. My goals are to start the Dave Ramsey snowball plan...but I need the month of January paydays just to catch up on what I did tonight. I maybe go to the casino once every 2 or 3 weeks...but lose a significant amount of money each time... Take about 500 lose that and then keep writing checks for 500 until I'm satiated ..never even thinking about what the heck I'm actually doing until I get in the car and have the holy fuck what did I just do inside cry to myself. I seem to go to the casino when I can.. When kids are out...taken care of...when I don't feel like my husband will miss me...because he's busy doing his own thing...when I feel like I am rewarding myself for something...etc. Anyway that's my sorry right now... Really looking forward to getting some help. In the meantime I'll be counting the days until payday ...joint the bank doesn't cash my check and bounce them all before Wednesday. 10 days after that I will be fretting that I am 2000 short this month.. Then I'll get paid again on the 15th and will likely feel that I have some extra to blow again. Ya right. My credit card debt is through the roof because I've been doing this for 15 years. Only recently has my bouncing checks become a bin issue for me while I'm at the casino though. And that's why I'm now here. Because I know I've gone too far. I'll be fine...living in dread with a massive cover up for a few weeks...I'm mostly worried about January 15th. When I get outside again and feel caught up and have that 150 January free okay to use. So tempting.
I know I shouldn't be the one telling you this, as I'm currently hiding things from my wife just like you are from your husband, but it is probably better to come clean and tell your husband.
I have reasons other than fear (although it is because of the fear for the most part) for not telling my wife. Unless you have too, you should probably go ahead and tell your husband.